I'M HAPPY ANDD MADDDDD !~

GUESS WHY ?

LOLS ! I DON'T KNOW EITHER

it's time to say goodbye (:

Once you make your decision to go after her ,

then never regret doing so (:

The fact now is , you chose someone you just met over someone you've loved for more than 2 years.I simply understand why all these happen.Love is one complicated thing.If you love her , like i say , follow your heart and go. That's all i can say.

After thinking so much , i realise i've done my part as a girlfriend. I must be proud of myself then.

As a girlfriend , i've done my very best to treat you as my truely boyfriend.

I give you everything that i feel you are in need of.

Everytime i see some thing you like ,

eventually , i'll try my best to get it for you.

i put you as my priority, sometimes even ahead of me.

I don't mind , cause , i felt that you're worth everything i do.

2years back , when you hurt your forehead , i tried my very best to take care of you.

last year , when you injured you legs, i rushed down ,taking the last train to visit you.

And when i saw how badly you injured yourself, i decided to stay and take care of you for the whole night.

I remembered i bought some bandages or what for you.

I accompanied you whenever you tell me you need my accompany.

Or even most of the times, when i really feel so tire , i'll go down and look for you after me work.

I'll accompany you home at times.

I waited for you most of the time, i went up to your house to wake you up.

I morning-called you when i can't , sometimes got scolded from teachers when you don't even know.

I did so many things for you behind that until now, you don't even know.And i guess , you don't need to know anymore.

I remembered , every saturday , we'll always spend together.

Yes, you are always saying that i didn't know how to treasure your love. But i'm sorry to say that , i treasured more than you do.

Maybe , i didn't show it out and make you feel otherwise.

I think i've done my very best to treat you like my precious.

if she's the one for you , go ahead.

It's time to say goodbye now.

Cause you know, once you make your decision ,then never regret doing so.

Don't have to return anymore.

I guess i don't need you back.

I don't wish to know anything about you and her anymore.

Cause i know, it doesn't concern me anymore.

If in the first place you already intend to have her ,

why do you have to tell me that you still love me or even say you just want to be single for the moment ?

Really a big goodbye my love,

I've treasure you for 2 years ,

now it's time to let you go and have someone else to treat you better.

Please , if you make your decision to go , don't ever come back anymore.

Let me go ...

I will remember you , your family ,

the days i've spent with you or your families.

I can only wish you all the best .

Play well and treasure what you have now.

Once more , i shall not love you anymore (:

bye ....

I'll remember you ,

someone i used to loved so much.

I'll remember the scar you have on your left arm

The scar which was craved " WJ "

Also , i've also placed you inside me ,

but , it's just a memory :DDD

As promised (:

I wouldn't blog it out.

But one word to say is ,

'' SPEECHLESS '' !

can't actually believe it.

For everything i see and hear.

The one who is so faithful to me ,

th one who i used to love,

have become like this.

I feel that , my feelings are starting to fade now

Why ?

Perhaps , just too tire

I'm letting you go now.

Dont ever return to me anymore.

I begin to love what i've now.

Because , at least ,they treat me with care& concern (:

Okay.Now, don't ever think that i'm your fool

Someone like you just don't even appreciate what ever i do

Then fine with it.

I don't wish to let this thing pull my mood down each day ,

when i can actually spend with someone else better.

I guess , in the first place we shouldn't even start

because , if you want to be single after 2 years ,then what for want to step into a relationship ?

& also , you know i don't love you at all at first.

Whey do you have to make me fall in love with you when you you've already decided to be alone

Hey ! This is bullshit man.

Maybe ,i am just so stupid.

If i know after 2 years , your answer is just want to be alone ,

I wouldn't choose you at all.

LMAO !

Alright , recieved a call from Ky(Kayong) yesterday. Lols. Asked me to join him for Poparazzy. But ended up , i accompanied Liping. But still , i saw him. Long story and alot of things happened. LOLS. Alright alright. I had fun with a new groups of friends. Thet are just all so adorable. lols. But you ? Just makes me feel sick when i think about it =.=''

You're all i miss now (:

Okay. I'm at least happier ,

because i know , there's nothing to hold me back anymore.

I've got that definite answer already with disbelief.

Donvan Chua & i are nothing now.

Not even friends , not even anyone.

He can crap for whatever he wants, saying that we can still be friends,

but you see , he don't.

& guess what ,

can't actually believe that after 2 years of been together ,

he said he is satisfied with his life now, he just want to be single.

That's quite lame , aren't they ?

Someone like him , chose to break off because the reason was ,

" too much quarrelments''

Ok , i don't blame him or what ,

because i know , we need a break.

So at first , he told me so ,

he told me that we will be together after everything gets really settled down.

yet now, another crap.

Eh , don't you think it's lame or what ?

Though it's hard to forget you ,

like how you already forgotten me ,

but still , there's nothing more i can do.

Everything was supposed to be beautiful even though after the break-up.

It was supposed to be just a ''break'' for both of us,

but you see , right now ,

it's like the other way round.

Please don't say you once love me so much yet i didn't appreciate ,

because if you really love me so much ,

your feelings wouldn't fade like now.

So now , i can assure you , i love you more than you did.

The story ends here .

Please make sure you know what you are doing.

I know i must accept everything,

but that is just so unbelievable.

What's the reason that you want to be alone ?

Yes i may want to know ,

But i guess, it doesn't really matters now...

Maybe all along , i'm that fool...

The glass of hearts that was being thrown into pieces

The portrait of puzzle that was being crushed

The bears that were being hanged

Everything and everything that was being thrown away.

It's just like how you thrown me away ,

where my heart became many pieces of shattered glasses ,

where my brain was being crushed and became numb .

Where my soul was being hang to death..

Are you happy this way ?

ahah !

I'm so tire now.
I slept at 2plus yesterday nearly 3 because i couldn't sleep ,
and Ky called me.
We were crapping all the way.
He told me all about soccer& stuff (which i don't understand)
LOLS !
& now i know , he is afraid of watching horror movie.
So yeah , we'll be catching one horror moviee soon !
lols. Can't wait to see his reaction. OMGH !
Called up Aloy the other day & i'm like telling him don't emo,
yet he said i'm the one who kept sighing !
Lols.
Whatever.
Interesting i guess.
Don't worry again. I know how to handle everything myself
ahahah !
If he don't even wish to care anymore ,
i guess it's really the end right now
I'll remember what we said.
" We have looks , we have that quality , why afraid'' remember ?
& yeah ! High-5
Lmao.
Okay shall end here

How i wish you were the one ,

who called me every night on the phone like you used to

But i guess ,

it's impossible right now

You don't even know what you really want

oh well ....

HELLO !!

I suddenly feel so stupid.

I don't know what makes me think this way so sudden.

okay , let me explain.

I love you , yes i really do.

& all along , you did nothing wrong

& i really mean nothing wrong.

You chose to leave , i can only regret.

During this 1month plus of break-up ,

We have been dragging this for so long.

You may seems so happy , like as if nothing had happen.

But sadly, i know you too well.

This is not how you feel , but just hiding everything inside you.

When i asked you stuff like , love me or not ,

or i even told you , to just tell me , you love me nomore ,

but again , you told me , there's still some love but not like before.

Or when i asked you have you ever thought of being tgt again, & again , you told me that , sometimes you thought of.

I don't know if whatever you said were true.

Sometimes , it makes me feel so happy when i hear all these.

& I thought that , yes, there may a chance.

But now , whatever you do , it's just not like you.

I don't know.

I let you go , yes, you did go.

But , you are still holding on to the strand of line ,

sometimes pulling me back , yet sometimes letting me go.

So now , you have only 2 choices , to either let me go , or pull me back.

Please , don't leave me hanging , i just feel so dead.

The most important thing now you really have to do is ,

to sort out everything in your mind.

Yes, i can choose to let things go.

But i just don't want to regret.

Because , i know , when i walk away , i'll never return.

& i mean really never.

So , once i get you that definite answer ,

i'll go it that way.

I've regretted once ,

& i'm not going to regret anymore

Don't treat me like a fool please .

Like i say , come straight to the point.

Stop all these crap.

Stop turning here & there , making one big round.

I know you aren't tire , but i am.

& also , if you want me to let go ,

then never ever return to me anymore.

Don't ever appear in my life again ,

when i have already started a new life.

2 years .

We have been going through together for 2 years.

& with one blink ,

we have come so far till we finally ended this with some stupid reason.

C'mon, this is ridiculous.

Somehow , when i reflected back

I feel that we are both so stupid.

We quarrelled over the unnecessarily.

& always , we are quarrelling over the same thing.

I know , partly is my fault .

But everything is over.

Perhaps, we should learn to change .

Learn to accept the bad point in us .

That is all i can say.

If you see this , then that's good.

You should really reflect on what you're doing.

If you really love me nomore , just let me go.

Or otherwise.

I'm tire of hanging in the middle of nowhere.

I'll wait for the answer...

I've changed my blogskin .

I think it's better this way .

Yep

Anyway , i suddenly don't feel like being alone

& i really don't know why either

But at least i have people to talk on phone with.

Everytime i do so , i feel like so much better.

LOLS !
So , guys, be prepared to recieve my call !

Oh well , some say i'm stubborn

But well , i'm not

Seriously , i don't know what i'm thinking .

Perhaps, i just want everything that used to belong to me ?

It's easy to be said than done

But, only if you're willing to try it out.

Noone knows what's going to happen ,

noone can predict what is going happen to us ,

but only we can predict because it is just something that is within our control .

Life now is just so tough for me.

I want to move on , but something is holding me back.

I don't know what's behind either

If only, i can turn over and take a look.

Still , i keep you in me.

When i know time is up ,

i'll let you go

& you should let me go too.

(if only you're reading this)

I'm having cramps !!

Too stress i guess

LOLS !

I know i'll never regret making this decison
and i hope i wouldn't
cause , afterall ,
ilove you still



You compared me with him
You asked me if i love him more than i love you
so , i'm here telling you
LISTEN !!!
I love you more than anyone else i've loved
You're the only one i wish to spend my whole life with
Even if anything happens ,
you're still gonne be the one i love most
I'll never gonna forget you ,
You'll always be the someone in me
So , i love you too much i guess
Though it may be short , but to me ,
its very long .
Baby , even if i'm not gonna be yours forever ,
but you are the one that i only want ..

Be my memories ,
but ,
i choose you to be my only future :DD

Theres problem again !!!! I think im gonna chnage to livejournal sooonnnnn !

:DD

&&& i just drank 3 bowls of my favourite , BIRDNEST !

LOLS

I'm happy ,

thats all i can say

i love you baby (:

0205PM , 20 April 2008
I see loves <3
I miss you , i hug you (:

Theres problem with photobucket as well as blogger. It's pissing me off , seriously. I can't upload all the photos i went out with lovelies Will upload all as soon as possible (: Didn't go Paramour2 yesterday , instead , i stayed over at dearest house and went for tuiton this morning.loves ! Alright , short post. Ah ying called and asked me to accompany her. Bye.

When i walk along the streets ,

My heart went numb.

Everything around me ,

was just memories of me & you.

I cried in my heart where noone knows .

Deep down , i was thinking so hard ,

what had actually happen to you .

You've change to someone we don't know.

No matter what we say , how to say ,

you insist on your way .

You never know ,

how hard i was trying to catch you from behind ,

but the speed is just too fast for me to catch up .

If only , you could stop a little , for me to catch up .

Maybe , what your friends said were right ....

I have lots of things to tell you ,

to let you know face to face .

I miss every single thing ,

the hugs and love .

What are you really thinking ?

It's time to sort things out i guesss ....

HAPPY BIRTHDAY AH YING !!

Yups , today is the 17 April

Thats means it's our precious darling's 18th birthday

so happy for her

Alright , read darlMel's blog

&& i agree to whatever she said :DDD

Ying , have known her for 10 years !

She has been there for me , & i mean really really there okay

Like always , lending us her listening ear ,

her comfortable shoulder to cry on ,

her help for everything

her teachings and her accompany :DDD

I love her , and i really do

She has no temper , she is just a nice girl (:

take care babe . Will see you soon

LOVES !

* sorry for the old photos. Can't upload photos from my phone (:

&&&& so , i love you too :DD

Had O level Bioloy Practical today

It was rather alright

Hmms, received a call from Jinman & Jabez

They asked if i want to have dinner at 85 market ,

so i agreed. They came to pick me up and the cab fun was like !!!!!!

Lols. They couldn't find my place.

Yeah , thanks for accompanying.

I'm still alright

Don't worry.

I love my life as usual though :DDDD

I'm tire .....

They know , i know

but yet , You don't even know

sighhh ...

All i can say is , i'm disappointed , really really so so so disappointed ...

I didn't know why am i soso hyper today

But well , it's a good start

lols

will be having lunch with John tommorrow for PizzaHut !

YUMYUMS *

i didn't know why i love to eat these few days

but who care,

noone is going to stop me like before

ahahah !

alright alright

Orphanage the show is over

that means , we can't watch it anymore );

But , there'll still be other show coming out

Let's wait :DDDD

I've learn to be someone better

i've learn to control my temper

i've learn to treasure a relationship

i've learn to handle relationship

i've learn to know what's important

and i never regret having a break-up

because ,i've learn all these

thanks to him

i'm a grow up girl now

i'll treat my next one ,

like precious

&&& i seriously do :DDDDD

This is my life ,

my everything

I'm yours and you're gonna be only mine

i love you boy :DDD

Catched Rogue Crocs today with Jiali

Lols.

It's interesting and fascinating can

Must catch it

To me , it's not bad

Walked around town

Bored and went home

i'm a good girl today

yeah :DDD

Once fall , as long as you pull yourself up

and continue walking

and learn to walk steadily ,

i think things will turn out better (:

Take it as a lesson

and not taking it as an ending

(:

He says , he love me (:

Long story about today

Basically , went to Darl's house to help Sweetheart with make-up for her concert

Missed out her concert due to dance in the night

Later on , met up with Weiheng they all

Had a long chat with Weiheng and Weile

Oh well, i'm the one who cheered them up.

can't believe it

LOLS !

Well , don't get bothered by all these ya

Life is still as wonderful as before

Course you all have me !

LOlS

C'mon :DD

You know why i'm so happy ?

Because i'm being loved !

Love is a complicate thing

but i don't care

I'm still enjoying life like ever

ahahah !

I smell some fesh air ,

Smell of green trees and colourful flowers .

My heart and soul sway happily

I'm feeling so much better now

I'm so happy that i can continue my life ecstatically

But obviously , not alone

but with those who loves me , who supported me throughout

Now i finally get to understand everything , clearly

I'm a big girl now

I'm so much stronger now

I've learn to be more patient

Exactly , like i say

I've still lots of time to enjoy life (:

Thanks for the long chat yesterday ,

you make me feel so much better.

I'm so surprised ,

you actually said all those to me

I'm glad and i really do

thanks.

I'll work hard

don't worry (:

Will be out with Darlings to catch a movie after tuiton tommorrow !

can't wait

Then , to zoo on the 27 th with friend !

I've no idea where he got those free tickets ,

but who cares ,

i'm going zoo like finally !

and Ying's Birthday celebration at night !

loves loves .

You're now a nobody to me , because , i'm just a nobody to you too (:

My efforts were just in vain

oh please ,

mind whatever that comes out from your mouth

fine , be it

like i say

we're now OVER , really clean & green

get the facts right

you know your reasons well

dont come & crap with me.

In the first place,

you were the one who said wanted me back ,

when i blogged about giving you up

remember ?

Now , you are just telling me otherwise

get this the shit out of it

don't try to fool me

thanks

Baby , when i used to walk away

you pulled me back

i cried in my heart as it melted

you treated me so nice

so nice that you snatched my entire heart away

we tear , laugh , shared everything together

After so long ,

this path seems so difficult

so difficult that makes me feel like dying.

I am sure , this is not going to end here

one day , we'll be able to continue walking

still , time is the only thing that matters

It's the 11th tommorrow ,

i think i'm gonna be alone

Perhaps , i have to learn to trust

before having you back

and i know , i can

just one more chance ,

everything would turn out fine (:

There's too much coincidental already

She wore your clothes , she spend time together with you

and much more , i'm tire to say

But i know , i can not do much

Course for now , you are not mine

Still , if you say there's nothing between the both of you

I'll believe you because ,

i've learn to trust you instead

like what you told me

'' Even if you did anything wrong or what. I will still trust you because i love you''

remember you used to send me this ?

:D

and baby , i'll love you still

PRACTICALLY , I'VE BEEN SICK FOR ALMOST 2 WEEKS , AND STILL NOT RECOVERING YET. I've slimmed down too much & i'm feeling so weak now..........

I miss schooling even though i hate it so much

i miss dance but i just couldn't get myself dancing

i've miss so many lessons

i miss the past

i miss everything

i regret not having a good health

i regret not treasuring time

i regretted so many things ,

that i think , there's only a few seconds left for me

just so tire , tire ..

i think i should just start mugging at home ,

extremely hard i know,

but , what to do ?

If only you could understand me well ,

if only you've the trust in me

if only you would think everything is possible ..

I feel like forcing ,

but i know i shouldn't .

don't be silly

sometimes , it's better to speak out

i feel like screaming everything to you

but by doing so ,

you just wouldn't listen

i find it no way i can talk to you

if love is still there , there shouldn't be a problem

like i say, there's still some time left for me (:

as promise , i'll still catch a movie with ky :DDD

he's just so cute luh !

the lovelies were just so stupid , betting if i'll go out with him

gossipper can !

don't worry , i will but not now !

hahaha

Just so tire ...

Some time , some time , just some time ....

some time later ,

hopefully everything will be fine.

I'll try my very best ,

and my very very best

have the faith in me

i can do it :DDDD

As promised ,

I'll come back when everything has settled down

When i've got things over completely

When i feel much better

Just need some time :DDD

Hopefully, everything is posssible baby (:

I suppose ,

I'm dying of hunger and sickness,

Have been seeing like thousands and millions of doctors , but just wouldn't cure.

Whenever i'm hungry , i just can't get the food in my mouth

I didn't know why

& i've been visiting th toilet every single hour.

Haaa !

how cool can it be

there's no pain , no nothing

but just go to the toilet

and it's making me so piss offf

mum asked me to go for a body checkup

and yeah ,

i'm going to later on to see the doctor

so god bless me

two choices ,

either i stay happily

or either i die peacefully.

and yuh , i'm like dying soon

grrrrr

I miss you

how much i suffer

you'll never know

Nevertheless ,

I still enjoyed my night yesterday

thanks lovely

:DDDD

If i can , i'll choose to love you instead

hahah !

&&&& thanks for all your concern ,

i really appreciate so much (:

Just image me without you

& the way i image you without me

is so much different

HELL .....

I'm terribly sick now

& i've been sleeping for the whole day.

I didn't have the chance to catch a movie with Ky,

didn't have the chance to go Shuffle

&

didn't have a chane to eat anything

also , i'm at home all alone now ):

How i wish , you were here with me

Do you miss me ?

I doubt so ...

AND......

I miss you so.....

Just got back my old phone to send everything to my current phone ,

i came to th inbox and saw a page of your messges

and when i read it all

i felt so love and care

and tears went rolling down like never ending

haaas !

perhaps, i just didn't know how to treasure you in the past

so now , i've to bear the conseqences

but , how i wish everything is a restart .

where there is a chance for me to learn from mistakes

But after so much , it wasn't given

your choise , you everything, i can't say much

My mind are all about what you're doing now.

Can someone please tell me ?

Perhaps everything is just a routine

Is it really so easy to let things go ?

Is it really so easy to forget everything ?

No idea what you are doing

Like usual , no calls /messages

photos with Jinman the other day (:

photos with Darlings (:

Will you ever return one day ?

Noone knows .

Perhaps time proves everything

I'M HAPPYY !!
because

I've the trust in you baby :DDDD

I'm so freaking tire nowadays

I didn't know why either

Just feel like sleeping and never wake up

EWWW !

& i miss baby Chervelle

i used to visit her whenever i'm free or miss her

But now , noway am i going to visit her.

LOLS.

I suppose she's the only one who can only enter his house

whatever (:

School is boring as usual.

i can only say that

Who will think school is fun ?

haha

Alright alright

I just can't stop laughing when i see Ky's messages

Just makes me want to laugh out loud

so funny and cute luh !

It's like, i don't know how to say

hahah !

Awww .

How i wish time would pass faster

C'mon , i'm tire of life now

But still , carry on

Whtever it is ,

i'm not gonna be affected by you

I didn't know what exactly you're thinking & doing

and if it's because of freedom , or her

i can no longer say much

you chose them over me

i didn't know why

you never understand what i'm doing ,

but all you think is that what you're doing are right

well , whatever , anything

you like it this way , be it this way.

& lastly , why bother to make a decision that you think you'll regret ?

that's something i wish to know

this relationship is the biggest joke to everyone right now

& i'm also laughing at myself

what are we actually doing ?

HAHAHAH !

are you really happier this way ?

Are girls always the stupid one ?

They care and concern

but guys just wouldn't appreciate

But only complain.

The can always sacrifice everything for them ,

but not guys.

After so much of complains ,and asking for a break up

they finally realise ,they're wrong and regretted.

What for ?

Why when a chance is given to the guy ,

yet the guy didn't want ?

But after so long, they regret

stupi right ?

AWWW

Just kind of misunderstanding between guys and girls

Updates updates !
ahaha !

Anway , something that interests me

my godbrother & i

HIM : How's you and him alr ?

ME : We broke off alr

HIM : How come ?

ME : I've no idea what's he's thinking

HIM : AHAHAH ! You know alot of my friends interested in you

ME : HUH?!? Handsome or not ? =X

HIM : Yuh , some very handsome

ME : Yuh yuh , handsome one come , uglies one go =X

HIM : Of cos luh , i told the ugly ones to F-off

ME : * laughs*

HIM : My friends all say i not brother enough . Of course luh , you my godsister lehs

ME : * laughs* Of course luh !

on the buss ...

ME : So how's you & your girlfriend ?

HIM : Patched back alr

ME: HUH ?! Who are you talking about

HIM : Jialing luh .

ME : Oh . That one uh. Good for you all lor. Why break and patch in the first place ?

HIM : Course her attitude sucks. Then see if she'll change or not lor

ME : Oh good lor . If he'll like that think jiu good lor

alight the bus ...

Keep on thinking again and again ):

but whatever it is , life still have to go on

No point calling you up each time ,

but you just don't care

You you think is just me pressurizing you.

i've no idea too

aright alright

i supposed i'll have a busy weekend this week

Saturday - have tuition in the morning

- out with my lovelies

- Maybe out with Kayong for movies in the night

YEAH ! I'M GOING BEIJING DURING JUNE HOLIDAYS !

CAN'T WAIT !!!

ahahah

Love is always like this

Is either we hold on , or give up

But i never thought that things will happened this way

How i hope , whatever you told me were true

I don't mind giving each other time

as long as things return the same?

hahaha

dreaming i suppose ?

(: